2003-11-11 | 1:17 p.m.
if I kill him now, well, who's going to miss him?

I was just thinking, with all this murdering on "Days of Our Lives," what are they going to do for Christmas? (I am thinking much about Christmas because of December Lucky and also because I just saw "Love Actually," which I love, actually, but you knew that would be the case, didn't you?) Every Christmas on "Days of Our Lives," they decorate the Horton Christmas tree and each member of the family has a ball with their name on it and they all hang them up and then they hang all the dead people or the people who are away or whatever and I cry. It's fabulous. This year, everybody's dead! Who will even be able to hang the ornaments, old Alice, all alone? Also, the "serial killer among us" storyline isn't terribly festive. I'd imagine they'd wrap it up in time for good Christmas feelings, but that was the old "Days of Our Lives." On the new one, someone gets axed at Thanksgiving dinner. Or so I hear. Bleh. Horrible. I hate it.

Oh, that movie last night. "Love Actually." It was so happy fun. And Tiffany from "EastEnders" had such a great part and a big part and when this good thing happened to her (I'm not telling you) it was almost like it happened to me, because that's my girl Tiffany, you know what I'm saying?

I sound completely obsessed with all manner of soap operas, which isn't really the case. "Days of Our Lives" I grew up on. It is part of the family. Which is why this horrible storyline destroys me. And I always watch it on Christmas, whenever Christmas falls on a weekday.

ACK! Speaking of that, the idiots behind me on line at the movies were arguing over whether there is regular mail delivery on Christmas (!!!!) and the guy's argument for why their wasn't was -- are you ready for this? -- Christmas was always a Sunday. Which is, of course, why there's no mail. Oh my God. Then he realized he was an idiot (only partially, sadly) and said, "No, wait. That's Easter. So I guess there is mail on Christmas. Easter. Isn't that a funny word? Like, 'I'm easter than you are.'"

Honestly, it was all I could do to not stab everyone ever. Lucky for me (and them) the hate debilitates me and renders me unable to do anything, not even justifiably exterminate.

Also, I am not going square dancing tonight. I should, but I'm not. So don't look for me. I won't be there. Instead I will be home eating that great soup I made (I should wait, but I can't. I have to make more) and being warm and happy. Oh yes.

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