2004-04-22 | 11:54 p.m.
now I go out alone if I go out at all

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Cleveland
You are blue collar and Rock n Roll. You Work hard and party harder.

This makes me so happy for some reason. I mean, Cleveland? I don't know, man. But all the rest is very true.

And what is also true is that all of the lovelies who put that "Ask me three questions, I'll tell you no lies," dealie, you know I am reading you, and please don't take it personally, but you have to understand that I can't ask that many questions. I've seen it in like 8 diaries now, and I can't even come up with one question. I would blame the Man and his lack of giving me a job. He has taken all of my creativity away. Also my feeling of belonging to the family of man has gone away too, maybe because it has Man in it. Bastards.

I did apply for one more job today. I didn't even send a cover letter, because I hate them and they are totally retarded (a) and because it said "optional" and I felt like opting my ass out (b). Plus that I spent 90 hours writing cover letters to that buggering parents' magazine and that ass-biting bookseller website (c). Grr! Three reasons makes a trend. Or something.

Speaking of trends, man that Walkmen guy needs to be my boyfriend. You hear that, Andrew Gunn? Hamilton Leithauser, not you. Anyway, this Walkmen guy, he is great. Remember a million years ago when they had the quiz of "Who Is Your Indie Rock Boyfriend" and I got him? Fate, baby. I think this new record must be great. I guess I should ever buy it. "The Rat" is a wildly wonderful song. Remember how the first time I ever even heard of The Walkmen was when Canadian Rock Star #2 (or #3? I've lost count) asked me what I thought of them, seeing as how they were a NYC band and all, and I had to tell him I hated NYC bands. Except I don't really, I just don't keep up because when I try, I end up knowing who the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are way early and hating them way early.

See how I digress from talking about my indie rock boyfriend. They reran their Conan appearance, and that man is taller than big C, even counting the hair. Damn, that's tall.

... say something, anything (5)

2004-04-21 | 6:06 p.m.
he still acts like he's being discovered

After trolling for civil service jobs today (hey, the benefits are good and the pay is pretty hot and the private sector has totally left me wanting to choke a bitch) and completely neglecting the little bit of work I do get paid for (it'll still be there tomorrow. sorry Andrea), I went to Fruit & Vegetable. This is what I call my local produce market. It's called [Something] Fruit & Vegetable, and I can never remember the Something, so I stick with Fruit & Vegetable. What do other people call it? Because I never ever heard anyone else say Fruit & Vegetable about their store that sells just that.

I am so obsessed with my own references. If there was a movie about me, I'd watch it. I'd buy the DVD and collect memorabilia from it. I would read the screenplay incessantly. No one is more fascinated by Jane than Jane. Believe it. You don't need to. You live it.

Anyway, for a while there was a Fruit & Vegetable Gang, a group of obnoxious teenagers who hung out front of a different Fruit & Vegetable, just down the road a piece. Yeah, so we called them the Fruit & Vegetable Gang, which wasn't very tough-sounding, but then, how tough-acting is hanging out in front of a Fruit & Vegetable, eh? Not very. One night, they were yakking at us as usual, and Dollie decided to sing the Led Zeppelin horror "Black Dog" to them. They were suitably horrified.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, so I spent $16 at the Fruit & Vegetable, which is odd and awesome. Produce is pretty cheap. I really bought a buttload of it, and I even passed up currently high-priced (off-season?) favorites like grapes and watermelon. I know they say to never buy off-season produce, but here in this wonderful city, it's always delicious. I think it's all Chilean export. Yum.

Tonight for dinner, I am making turkey meatloaf, string beans and roasted beets. I make my string beans crunchy, too, so you know this meal is just rife with deliciousness. The garlic for the meatloaf is roasting presently.

Now that I have to start making less bad-for-you food, I have to make up new things. Like this delicious turkey meatloaf. Oh man, I made this recipe up and it is so good. I think I will start a cooking column over yonder. Really, I promise. I don't know when I'll do this, but I will do it. Maybe if one of you pumpkins would get me a job, I could spend less time working on that, hmm? Anyone?

Even poor, I am such a spoiled brat. El Fano bought me Anna Sui face powder. Oh, man. Just the packaging alone will make a lady cry. So so fabulous.

I made a plan a few days ago, inspired by all manner of wonderful news of new houses 'round this ring the past few weeks and my own disgust at throwing money out the window on rent and having nothing to show for it. It goes like this: after 18 months of decently-paying full-time employment, I'll have enough money saved to put a very generous down payment on a starter house in the southern tier of NY state. I'm even looking into foreclosures, because, really, someone like me getting one and treasuring it is way better than some rich fucker buying it and reselling it for billions.

I'm gonna leave this city. I'm going to have my own place. I am going to have a garage in which to put a little scooter that I will happily buy. I'm going to have a little backyard with lawn furniture. I'm going to have a barbecue. I am so excited.

Oh yeah, and I saw the Joel Plaskett Emergency last night, with special guest Ian McGettigan. Maybe I am just so in love with not driving 600 miles to see them, but I really thought it sounded even better here than in Canada. It was weird to be home and hearing those songs, but it was wonderful. And it made me realize how many crappy bands I've seen there, you know, compared to the JPE. They are most magical. That Joel, you really have to love him and his amazing genius. And Ian, who bedazzled us with a Camouflage Nights EP (this is the perfect post-Justified summer hit, I'm telling you). And Dave Marsh, who is really in the running for the Cutest Man in Rock prize. I love this band. I hope they come back soon.

... say something, anything (5)