2004-02-25 | 8:24 a.m.
I don't know anything, but I act just like I do

I had an appointment with the cable company yesterday. They were to come between 10 and 2 to rectify my mysteriously non-operational new DVR service. They showed up at 4:30. 20 minutes (and several awful events. I will spare you) later, we'd seemed to figure out that it wasn't the box at fault, but rather that they'd screwed up the codes when authorizing it. I don't know who does that, but I'm blaming the trade-in guy at the 23rd Street place. I didn't like him one bit.

Despite this finding, the cable guy, who had switched the boxes, left me with the switched box. Here's where it gets really good. The replacement box, its hard drive doesn't work. But the cable guy wouldn't stick around to hear me explain that it seemed something else was wrong. He suggested I call customer service to get the right instructions. As if the hard drive wasn't working because I didn't know how to use the system.

Man, when the screen says "Your hard drive seems broken. Please call customer service," I'm pretty sure their instructions are, "You need a new box." But I am trying to let go of the misconception I have that I know better than everyone, even professionals who clearly know this equipment and service better than I could. So I listened to him. And called customer service.

"Generally, we tell customers to unplug the box for 20 minutes. Sometimes they just get too overheated and —

"OK. I think I better tell you that I've had this box plugged in for fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, that's not overheated then. You need an appointment."

"..."

"Just like today, they'll come and switch the box."

"Well, I hope it isn't just like today."

"Make sure they go through the checklist, take all the steps with you, so that it is definitely working and we don't have to keep coming out."

So at this point, I clearly want to start screaming. Screaming that, had I been in the Time Warner cable installer training program, I might know about "the checklist," but I was foolishly under the impression that my repairman would maybe have some idea what he was doing. Maybe, since he gets paid and all, he'd do something crazy, like, I don't know, his job! But instead I just said, "Great! Thanks!" in that way I have and hung up.

My appointment is Friday, which is good, because clearly I needed another day to stay home and get absolutely nothing done while I sit and panic and wait for the buzzer to ring. The hate. It is strong. Also, I really didn't need any more proof that I am smarter than everyone. I'm getting a complex. But not a job.

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