2003-11-27 | 12:27 a.m.
not that I have much to offer, God knows I have so much to gain

I've been away from you for so long. I shoot myself in the foot all the time, I do. I was writing every day because people other than my buddy list were checking every day, and that was so exciting. So to express my excitement, I asked that the (evidently secret) people tell me who they are. So they stopped checking. And I stopped writing. I am a sad sad girl.

Yes. So tonight I saw Rufus Wainwright and that was just fabulous, though my butt hurt so bad. This is just the sort of problem once like me would have. Last week I went to a standing-up show and so my feet cried. Tonight a sitting down show and I have buttache. Sad girl, see?

Speaking of standing-up shows, twelve years ago tonight I went to my very first, much to my mother's horror. You see, they'd just done one of those, "Crowd surfing kills!" stories on MTV News or some such and there I was absolutely desperate to see EMF. So I threatened to run away if she didn't let me go. She caved. I went. And, because I was new to the scene, I stood smack dab in the middle of Roseland and James Atkin et al had no idea I was even there. I quickly learned that was no way to go. But yes, twelve years. Can you even imagine? I'm having a hard time with it myself.

Did I tell you I am having a hard time listening to actual full albums? I am finding them tedious and oppressive. Notable exceptions include The Darkness album (record of the year 2003, no doubt) and Travis' first record Good Feeling which holds up and kicks all sorts of ass-type things, I realized on a recent roadtrip. A few new records (including Joel Plaskett's) I need more time with, but I can't give them the time I need because the concept of an album is wildly unattractive to me right now. A friend is having a similar problem, which just makes it even weirder. I'd like to blame Sloan (or that bastard Rothrock, more specifically), but it's probably some sick manifestation of depression. Maybe I've just gotten so readdicted to a live show. Or maybe I'm just so smitten with my own mixes. Whatever the reason, LPs don't do it for me. Whoa oh oh! What's love ... etc.

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