2004-02-13 | 2:06 p.m.
raise the bar I'd made of late

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I really think I am going to get a proposal. This will likely not be a marriage proposal, but instead more like a "I'll give you $10 if you stop talking to me" proposal. At least, that's what I am aiming for. I think I am going out tonight, which hasn't happened in a while. I am not sure yet if I am excited or full of dread. Those feelings are so similar in my twisted response system.

Speaking of proposals, in case anyone who reads this ever wants to marry me or is in cahoots with someone who wants to marry me, I'm linking the photo of my dream engagement ring. It's from the April 2002 issue of Lucky and it's pretty cheap. Since it's so old, now it is probably even cheaper, on clearance. I bet it costs $74.99 now. Maybe even people who don't want to marry me can buy it. It has stars. You know how much I love stars, don't you? Well, you should. Yes, stars. Very exciting. I don't even really want an engagement ring, unless it is this one of course. I'd much rather an engagement brownstone in Clinton Hill, an engagement deed to a bar/rock venue or (bargain option) an engagement week's vacation somewhere warm. Or else just write me a song or something. That's free, cheapo.

Yes, so for Valentine's Day, my free sample of Avlimil came in the mail today! Ahahaha! Maybe you have to watch too much daytime TV to understand how awesome this is.

Thanks to one of my roommates, I have a cutout of Liza and David Gest in happier times stuck to my computer monitor. Man.

I really have to get out of here and get to the bank. I also have to get some valentines. What do you get for the gay husband who has everything? And what about my straight wife? I always do homemade, but I have no inspiration this year. I think I might have blown it all on last year's "Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite molester" card for The Girl. What was on the cover? A sexy shot of R. Kelly, of course. Actually, I think on the outside it said, "Though competition is heating up ..." or something and then inside it said, "... you're still my favorite molester. Happy Valentine's Day." That was such a good one. I can't be expected to beat it so soon.

My subscription to Chart magazine expired in December, yet they sent me the new issue, which makes it sound as if Joel Plaskett is inside (he topped the Chart chart, but that's it) and has kiddie pictures of Sloan. Yes indeed. Man, Andrew was even a child fox. And if you told me that shot of Jay was taken last Thursday, I'd believe you.

Also, those keeping track might like to note that the Candy Butchers' album is favorably reviewed in Rolling Stone this week. Also that Beyonce's cover-shot t-shirt has spawned a crazy idea in my house. More details as they become available.

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