2004-03-30 | 5:52 p.m.
amateurs and manic teachers falling from the sky

Oh no. Bob Dylan is actually IN a Victoria's Secret commercial now.

When they had two of my bras on eBay, unworn, with tags, why did I not Buy It Now (TM)? Good gravy. They've been bid up to like $70. See, I told you they were fabulous.

I played tennis again today. Courts are empty at 9AM on a weekday. Ha, all you suckers with your jobs. Anyway, while playing, a voice from afar (a nearby building? a passing van? Automotive HS?) said, "Hey, Tennis Girl! Do you and your friend want to play me and my friend?" I answered the man/boy with a very matter-of-fact, but polite, "No," as if he was a friend who asked if I needed something from the store. And what did he say back? "Alright." Whoo, that was easy. And probably the only time ever in the history of ever that I have or will be referred to as Tennis Girl.

... say something, anything (1)

2004-03-29 | 9:48 p.m.
how about The Gentlemen?

Because if you're going to bite off someone, why not that that Ajax bizzle?

More surprisingly accurate results from OK Cupid.
The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.

BEWARE: The Hornivore
CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy
Your exact opposite: The Stiletto, Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

... say something, anything (1)

2004-03-29 | 11:32 a.m.
If you're wondering why ...

I was a big fan of Morrissey in high school. Ten years ago this spring, I went off him permanently. Chalk my "I loved this tool?!" realization up to an unsuccessful record signing and an oft-rescheduled and finally cancelled show at Carnegie Hall (which I slept out for tickets to, making me an hour late for my grandmother's wake) followed by a run of awful albums.

And here's the latest. By titles alone, I know it's a skipper. Good God, is it ever a skipper.

From NME.com:
You Are The Quarry

• ’America Is Not The World’
• ’Irish Blood, English Heart’
• ’I Have Forgiven Jesus’
• ’Come Back To Camden’
• ’I'm Not Sorry’
• ’The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores’
• ’How Could Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?’
• ’The First Of The Gang To Die’
• ’Let Me Kiss You’
• ’All The Lazy Dykes’
• ’I Like You’
• ’You Know I Couldn't Last’

... say something, anything (1)

2004-03-28 | 2:41 p.m.
smile at the thoughts of me failing

Rock god Aaron Perrino says we should forget this website stuff and go into stand-up comedy. He says Dollie and I are funnier than Eugene Mirman. And he should know; he knows Eugene Mirman (thereby proving my theory that everyone in Massachusetts knows each other). It's theories like this (and our proposed Sexxxay.com high-concept pictorial) that would evidently capture the imagination of a comedy audience. It's something to think about.

I played tennis again today. And went furniture shopping at ABC and From the Source in DUMBO with my female roommate. Oh my God, I'm totally gay.

... say something, anything (1)